This man Githu Muigai

AG Githu Muigai is a man who is never short of quotable quotes, many of them quite caustic to the person on the receiving end. Sample some of the quotes from his days as a Law professor at the University of Nairobi:

“Mathew Muli, the then Attorney General -we cannot call him anything else because that was his official title- tried to keep his knowledge of the law concealed. His only acquaintance with the law was incidental or historical”

“I am here to jumpstart your mind from lethargy”

“I believe you are familiar with carnal knowledge? The concept that is, not the practical part. Someone with experience? Legal experience you dirty minded fools!”

“God asked him, ‘Who are you?’ and he replied ‘I’m Jomo Kenyatta, President of Kenya and you’re sitting on my chair!’” (trying a hand at stand up comedy)

“The only difference between you and a cow is what I teach you”

“The law is so generous that it presumes that everyone is sane”

“Most women would prefer the sperm of a law professor to that of a law student”

“We are not authorities in law. By ‘we’ I mean ‘you’. Some of you might be tempted to think that we are in the same category”

“When I ask you a question, give me an answer in the context of the 21st Century because that is where your challenges lie. Don’t give me an answer according to your grandfather because he is either dead or dying”

“Killing is a statement of fact, but murder is a conclusion of the law”

“This gentleman, and I use the word gentleman with the widest elasticity possible, always acted ex cathedra”

“What a pretentious name!” (when some guy called Muthee was asked what his name was)

“You call me Sir and I call you Sir. The only difference is that YOU will mean it!”

“Not even the devil knows what a man is thinking, leave alone a woman”

“If I was to be appointed the Chief Justice, which I think would be a terribly good idea, I would listen to everybody, including you, for whatever it is worth…”

“I agree with the Honourable Justice Kwach, that the legal profession is in danger of being infiltrated by peasants”

“The most precious thing in life is life itself. Which is why murder is the gravest offence as it deprives the victim the most precious thing in life”

“For the purposes of my lectures, all time will be in GMT and only my Swiss watch will apply”

“That is a very stupid answer, but it is the right one”

“If your female client is going to be convicted of murder, make sure she’s pregnant. Why are you laughing? Of course, I don’t mean that you should be the one making sure!”

“Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong”

“Robbery With Violence… now that is a good example of how not to make a law. It is pure nonsense and tautological”

“If you DO NOT know the law of Kenya, you DO NOT impress me at all”

“I radiate knowledge because I am in intellectual puberty and not intellectual menopause.”

“Charles Njonjo, the then Attorney General, was wrong. Do you know why he was wrong? Because I say so”

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